The Top 9

Ok, last night's theme was "Showtunes." This had promise for me. I don't love a lot of showtunes, but I know a lot of showtunes, especially from junior high solo contests. Note: if I have any experience with the songs these people are singing, I will add little "trivia notes." Anyway, here we go:

1. Scott Savol: "To Dream the Impossible Dream (Man of La Mancha): Scott, ever since your rap sheet came out, the impossible dream is you winning this thing. Now, don't throw a phone at me or anything, but this was not too good. It's a little too "epic" of a song for Scott, and I just wasn't feeling it. Trivia note: Shocker! Luther Vandross has a version of this song. How conveeeeeenient.

2. Constantine Maroulis: "My Funny Valentine" (Babes in Arms): First off, was this the "smooth jazz" version of this song? I've never been a fan of WNUA 95 point feye-ive. Anyway, Constantine continued on in the proud tradition of "you sound good, but I don't want to look at you." I'd suggest putting a bag over his head, but that might muffle the sound. Question: is the line "Is your figure less than Greek?" really in that song, or did Constantine just add it as props to his Hellenic heritage? He got all smirky at that part.

3. Carrie Underwood: "Hello Young Lovers" (The King and I): Simon said that her performance was old-fashioned. I would say that her hair was old-fashioned. Hello Jersey 1989! Anyway, Carrie sounded incredible as usual, but she is a bit. . .robotic. She sounds amazing, but I would like to see her emote, or laugh, or something. She is soooo good though. Trivia note: I sang "Getting to Know You" from this musical in my eighth grade solo contest. I got a second because I didn't sound happy enough. I wasn't happy enough because my friends got to the room for my performance right after they closed the doors and the judge wouldn't let them in, beeyotch.

4. Vonzell Solomon: "People" (Funny Girl): Ok, I don't like this song, it's sooo cheesy and overdone. Vonzell sounded very good, but not outstanding. I did enjoy her voice, but I just don't like this song and I felt like the performance was missing something. Anyway, I bet Mikalah is a bit T.O.'d that she didn't get a chance to sing her beloved Babs.

5. Anthony Federov: "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" (The Sound of Music): Oh no, this was wrong. Federov sucks at song choice. As my brother said, "You don't sing a song that a nun sings." Anyway, "Trach My Breath Away" (as someone on Television Without Pity referred to him)was bad, especially the assy last note. Federov, you can go now. Trivia note: I sang "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" from this musical for my seventh grade solo contest. I got a first, and also came up with a classic parody of this song (classic by seventh grade standards), "Sixteen Going on Twenty-One." The lyrics as I recall: "I am sixteen going on twenty-one, I have a fake ID. I drink some beer and I drink some whiskey, I puke all over the street. . ." "I got pulled over once or twice, the cops made me walk the line, I got arrested once or twice, I had to pay a hundred dollar fine!" The final line: "I am sick of drinking wine coolers, I-eye want so-ome real booze." I assure you that I didn't drink till just before college, so I don't know how I came up with this stuff.

6. Nikko Smith: "One Hand, One Heart" (West Side Story): I had hoped this would be awesome, as I love this song, and I think it would have been good if not for the crappy duet parts. Did we need the chick singer? I admired Nikko's efforts to update the song a bit, but the runs were a little out of control. Anyway, not his best, but I still like him. Trivia note: a certain swimmer (Shannon, obviously you know who I'm talking about) sang this song for solo contest one year.

7. Anwar Robinson: "If Ever I Would Leave You" (Camelot): This was boring. I'm not feeling Anwar anymore, and he's getting the creepy eyes thing going like Constantine. I just wasn't into it, and this was the only song performed that I didn't know.

8. Bo Bice: "Corner of the Sky" (Pippin): I do really like this song, but it just didn't work for me. I love you Bo, but you have had a couple rough weeks. Also, the outfit: you looked like you jumped into a giant Twizzler. It just wasn't his best performance. Trivia note: this was the JCA musical our sophomore year, I think, and Shannon, I can only picture Dustin Pirc singing this song.

9. Nadia Turner: "As Long As He Needs Me" (Oliver!): I like this song a lot, and Nadia did really well. I don't think she has the strongest voice, but she did a good job, though I didn't like the way she "diva'd" up the end. A little much for me. Nice job Nadia.

Best: Carrie, Constantine (ok now I need to take a shower), Nadia
Worst: Anthony, Scott